Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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