I'm drive I can fine osifer
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am mentally ready for anal.
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