the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
