my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
