He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
