i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
