So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
