I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
