Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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