We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
