i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
