4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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