i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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