in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
