I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
