So drunk its hurt
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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