YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize