I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
