I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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