Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
