my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
