come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
