Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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