This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Randomize
