i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
