I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
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