I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
