you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
being pregnant is like rehab
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
