I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
