I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
