marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize