Nicole vs. Life
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
