I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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