So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
