Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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