I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
