ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize