clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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