I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
