Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish my penis had an off switch
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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