Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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