yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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