You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
