DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
