Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
