I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
