So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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