It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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