mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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