I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
