Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
