We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize