You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
