Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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