scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i now understand why vodka
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
