Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
