Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
