Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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