At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
not ubering you a puppy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
