I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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