Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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