Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
