i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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