He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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