So drunk, too bad you don't want this
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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